loving Walt too

My father-in-law passed away this week. He has been in a care center near our home for the past six weeks. On the day he died, I entered his room to find his estranged wife crying at his bedside. She held his hand, patted his arm and expressed her love. A nudge from the Spirit pushed me to let go of my own anger and reach out to her so it was not a coincidence that we found ourselves in Walt's room at the same time. It's been tense between WSM family number one and WSM family number two, but hearts were softened and in the end things were good. Walt's wife talked about how their relationship had started prior to his divorce. She shared that their relationship had been good until the last year when Walt's illness took its toll on both of them. She apologized and expressed love for Walt and for his children. We talked about Walt's overwhelming debt and we talked about funeral plans. Although Walt was unresponsive, I'm sure that as we talked, Walt listened. Every once in a while I would pat Walt on the arm and say "Did ya hear that Dad, It's going to be OK!"

I have tried to be charitable and kind but it has been hard for me to verbally express love to my father-in-law. The last couple of days I have recognized that I have been wrong to withhold those words. I am learning that true love is not about how I feel but how I make others feel.

I expressed sincere love as I walked from my father-in-laws room and left he and his wife to mark their 21st wedding anniversary with a tearful good-by. I walked away with an assurance that the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real.

The hospice nurse told us that Walt's body was ready to die weeks ago, but there was something holding him here. Walt died less than a half hour after his wife and I left his room. We are both convinced that he heard our conversation and was confronted by expressions of love and forgiveness. We are certain he died at peace. I spent the afternoon with Walt's body, waiting for the funeral home to take him into their care. I felt peace. Walt's death has taught me a great lesson

love + forgiveness = peace.

Brian, the hospice social worker, walked into the room as Walt's wife walked out and was with Walt when he died. Brian said it was an amazing experience and a privilege to be with his new friend at that sacred moment of transition.

We buried Dave's Dad at a simple graveside service on May 6th, exactly 3 months after my Dad died.